I am sitting In the morning At the diner On the corner
I am waiting At the counter For the man To pour the coffee
I don't know about you but by the time I get to the pour the coffee part of these lyrics I am all ready to get the coffee myself!!! I have stuff to do, a day to get on with, people to see places to be and a fuck tonne of content to create. I like to get to my coffee machine first, make my coffee, get my fix and fuck off to get productive & do some stuff. Please don't obscure my trajectory.
Then its double shot number two, its like the back up, a caffeinated faux guarantee that I will be productive and meet all the expectations that have been loaded since birth on to my personage. Really I am still trying to break and shake some of the social conditioning shakles, Taylor Swift em off like a wet dog. Its an unravelling of sorts of all that we are "supposed to be" to rediscover what it is that finds us joy and happiness in our own unique human experience. That my friends can be what ever you for see it to be.
I have always felt like I have struggled to meet the expectations of everyone; parents, school, sisters, boyfriends, employers, clients, businesses, society, the system. I always felt like I wanted something different, sometimes I will be at a loss to describe different is or should be, but knowing falling short of expectations meant that I was not good enough. I have lived here for a really long period of my life, occasionally the door opens and asks me to visit again. I flip the bird and walk in the opposite direction to nearly everyone else.
With age, study and wisdom and lots of yoga shapes comes understanding that maybe those expectations were boxes created to make it easier to manage the masses, not just from a work perspective but covering every facet of our lives every breath you take every move you make. Expectations based on gender, age, ethnicity, education, job, residential address and vax status. This stuff all starts from the day we enter the world and well meaning persons of influence start imparting their wisdom and experience so that we may have an easier time of this life that we have just begun. May the conditioning commence.
The programming and social conditioning begins early and its not all bad, we actually need some of those lessons. At the heart of us humans we have a very basic and instinctual desire to belong, to be part of something. Tik Tok, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn have upped the belonging anti by billions of likes, saves and shares. Many feel the pressure to perform in these social circuses that keep us in the dopamine loop. There are very few influencers on these platforms that talk about Instaburnout , TikToktumbles, Facebook, faceplants, Linkedinloops that become dizzying dopamine directors delivering reward and motivation. Like in life some times you just need to get off the ferris wheel and assess where you are at.
We come into this world as curious creative beings, being creative has been characteristic of humans since the beginning of time. Think of how creative cave men where in leaving us prehistoric cave drawings and ancient stories and myths to decipher. How did we discover you could make bread from wheat? Like was it an accident that someone soured a dough? Was the dude who discovered coffee running from a fire that had burned a coffee tree incidentally roasting some coffee beans then it started raining and the dude tripped over and face planted a puddle where the beans got crushed and the first coffee was created???
Creativity can also show up in our brains reward centre in the same way as delicious food, addictive substances and horizontal adult activities, our brains have evolved to reward creativity. Maybe this is why it feels good to make a Tik Tok - that is before we only get 4 views. Many of us feel good when we’re flexing our creative muscles, we humans evolved to derive pleasure from creativity.
If I had a dollar for every time someone said "I am not creative" I would be living off the proceeds on tropical island (feel free to make a donation) Creativity isn't all about art music and design which are traditionally promoted as creative jobs or industries, we all possess creative bones in our bodies. Our creativity helps solve life’s problems, make decisions, strategise and visualise. Life needs us to be creative using our creativity to plan different routes to get to desired destination, to fit in a trip to the supermarket while creating your dinner solution on the fly, this sounds basic but its an acknowledgment that we are all creative beings to the core. YOU ARE CREATIVE.
Then comes our social conditioning or programming. as mentioned some of this is essential as we learn social cues and fundamental human interactions. But somewhere along the way our creativity is flattened by societies preference for compliance. We as a collective are easier to manage if we comply with a set of rules. So people in power start to whittle away at us finish school, get good grades, spend $300k on a university education, get the right job, buy a house, get married, have children, get a better job, buy a better car, move to a better suburb, buy a better house, have another kid the merry goes round.
This was so strongly evidenced over the last two years. Programming isn't a one size fits all, this is why we often feel out of sorts wondering if there is more to life than what we are currently experiencing? This sensation which can manifest physically in our bodies is fundamentally what being out of alignment feels like. We are programmed to believe that we need to do X, Y Z to have or achieve A, B, C often A, B & C are not even our goals they are outcomes that have been socially imposed or imprinted upon us.
Then comes the rush to achieve, the productivity race to the finish line. The belief that in order to get all this done you must be seen to be doing all the things. Its the appearance of productivity, not actually productivity. Where our exhaustion is a badge of honour, where we are often looking outside of our own joy an happiness for external validation, that is reward and recognition form others. Often the reward and recognition comes when we comply and stay small.
While we are here what about the concept of retirement? At first the push for productivity it was to achieve it all and be "set up" for your retirement before 50, then 60, then 70. The word retirement is a social construct set up to make you think that your life is drawing to a close that you are no longer worthy of employment and that if you don't have "enough" by then(when ever they say then is) you will be a social outcast or a burden on your society (a hello you taxed me out the wazoo, remember???) ! This actually plays into the very nature of keeping us small, compliant, afraid and under control.
What if you lived in alignment with your true nature and did what it was that lit you up and you were happy every single day? Would retirement as a concept even apply to you??? The answer is no, because you are doing what brings you joy and happiness. Now the how do we monetise that??? Well that a journey to abundance not living in fear and trusting your inner guidance this is an adventure to, one that you get to own and direct.
For the duration of my hospitality career I was in a perpetual state of productivity which was really more like being on a fast moving treadmill that is on the mountain gradient while you are continuously tuning into every station on the AM and FM band of your radio while you balance for plates and your P&L.
As a female in a male dominated sector, I was treated and paid poorly, yelled at, harassed and had to work harder than all my male peers, make sure the kitchen sinks were scrubbed and save any tears I had for the car trip home. I also learned how not to go to the toilet because this took time away form me being productive, one time when I did go to the loo i forgot to take my undies off & I peed through my undies. FML something had to change. It's exactly what I don't teach when I am consulting because I want to break that cycle, my yoga learnings have served me well off the rubber rectangle.
I have learned/ am continuously learning to monetise what brings me joy and happiness and I teach this in my coaching and yoga trainings. We all have to start somewhere this is why encouraging new to the rubber rectangle yogis to breathe bend and sit a little ever day is so important to me. Creating sustainable practices that allow you to find more joy and happiness and your own flow.
The answers to many things are not in our over zealous desire to appear productive. the answers are strangely enough in our stillness.
xxxkit
If you are keen to learn more about my trainings drop me message yogis@perfectlyimperfectyogis.com
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